Home, is a feeling – What you could do if you do not belong

Hey weirdos,

I have missed typing on my laptop as opposed to staring at my screen in an attempt to study. I apologize for not posting last week, it was test week and honestly, my posts are not planned in advance. I am trying to work on that, thanks to everyone who sent me well wishes. I am back and hopefully, it all goes well until my exams later this year.

This is a bit of a different post, more personal, even for me. This is the one of the reasons I started my blog, for the misfits, rebels and weirdos. For as long as I can remember, I never really liked the area I grew up in. It’s a small town in Durban. Everyone knew each other and your neighbours could literally smell what you cooked for dinner. I am sure anyone who grew up in a small town can relate. Some people may even love this, I do not. I am quite a private person, who could not deal with people in my business.

I never thought of it as home, actually, it never felt like home. As soon as I matriculated, I was out of there. To be frank, I never looked back. To the people that lived there or still live there or love it there, this is not to offend you. This is for the people that feel trapped in a place they don’t feel they do not belong.

You can grow up in a place and not call it home. Many people do not understand when I tell them Durban is not my home, it is just a place I grew up. I don’t hate it, neither do I think you won’t enjoy it, for a holiday it’s great, it is just not my home. For those of you, that follow my blog or read my about section, you know I lived abroad for a year. I lived in Arlington, Virginia, basically 5km from Washington D.C. This became more of a home than Durban ever was. I have also lived in Johannesburg and Stellenbosch.

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In Durban, especially in high school, I was the eccentric one. In terms of my music tastes, fashion, overall outlook on life, I was a rebel of sorts. My grade 11 speech was entitled “The purpose of life,” I am a deep thinker, which may have been too strange for some. Maybe I am an old soul or whatever you may call it. Maybe I do not have many good memories there, maybe it is not the place I was meant for. Not to say I had a terrible childhood/teenage years but it definitely was not the best. Like I said, it is just not my place. The only reason I would want to go there is to visit my best friend and swim in swimmable water.(Cape Town beaches are just for admiring)

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People make a place a home and that is what I learned in my time abroad. I met the most amazing, friendly, non-judgmental people through music. After being accepted and understood by strangers more than people that knew me, it just hit me, maybe home is not a place but a feeling. We all want to feel like we belong somewhere. To be apart of something greater than ourselves is what gives many of our lives more meaning. Music and the friends I made from it helped me find my tribe of people.  As a young adult, this really helped me understand myself and what I wanted from life. It gave me confidence as well knowing my tribe always had my back and they still do!

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Many people are nostalgic about where they grew up and they never want to leave. Others never leave their hometown and I think that is completely fine. Although, I do think you should travel and it is the only experience that has enriched my mind that I willingly paid for.

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I suppose I just want you to know that if you don’t belong somewhere, you may find somewhere you do belong. You may find people you belong with, which is what makes a place a home.

Heres what you can do if you feel like you do not belong in a place:

  • Join a sports club/ community club: Taking up a sport or hobby helps you become more active whilst being social and meeting new people. It fills your time and could lead to great friendships. Besides who doesn’t want to get their summer body ready? This is where Beauty Swop or Sale comes in for me as well as the blogging community. This could mean learning a new language or picking up a new skill even.
  • Go hiking/walking: I truly love being outdoors and connecting with nature even though I am lazy at times. This helps you feel more in touch with the environment and yourself.
  • Go to festivals/markets: I honestly am the biggest fan of music festivals and food markets. Your city/area probably has one and I swear you will enjoy it. Connecting with people over food/music is a unique experience.
  • Read about the history/go on tours: I find it quite funny when we don’t know our own history but we are ever so ready to hop on a plane to anywhere else. I recently went on a tour of Cape Town and was amazed to learn so many new things that made me fall in love even more with this city.
  • Give back: I think what helped the most in my years in Durban and at every stage of my life was charity. I always made a concerted effort to help those in need. This really brings joy to your life and helps you realize how much you have to be thankful for. By helping someone else, you are actually helping yourself.
  • Appreciate where you are: You never know how much you may miss that cute coffee spot or unique bakery around the corner with those delicious snowballs. The more we appreciate where we are, the more at home we feel.

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You are always welcome to message me if you don’t want to comment publicly on my post if you experienced/experiencing this feeling. If you do want to move, do your research, plan well and go for it. There will never be a right time in my opinion.

I hope to share some posts of my travels with you, let me know if this is something you would want to read about?

Until next post,

Live life,

xx Miss Dhanusha   


15 thoughts on “Home, is a feeling – What you could do if you do not belong

Add yours

  1. Wonderful post! My favourite quotes were: “You can grow up in a place and not call it home” and “Cape Town beaches are just for admiring”😊 I think a lot of people have a complicated relationship to the homes/cities they live. That’s part of one of the reasons I started writing the City Diaries series on my blog.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Totally agree with you! Home for me is also a feeling, not a place. I grew up in Namibia, moved to SA when I was 14 and can’t say that I feel either place feels like “home” properly. Strangely, going to California a few years ago, I felt at home there. So weird… it really is a feeling. From one deep thinker to another… feeling like an outsider is a secret power (I think)… well, not in school, but def as we get older. Lovely pics. Missed your posts and glad to be back here catching up!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. So true. It’s definitely a feeling. I never was able to say this place is home about my home town. I guess some places are meant for you more than others. Thanks so much for the love and encouragement. It means everything.


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